Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Are my feet made of real feet?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
