is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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