Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize