dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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