that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
