Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Someone shit on the floor
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
