Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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