just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
