how can u be prego again
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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