I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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