break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
