after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
