Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
