I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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