I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
