I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
