the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize