I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
