You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
