Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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