Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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