At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I could make wine with my vomit
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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