he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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