So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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