I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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