Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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