I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
