Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
