the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
