I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
