And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
