And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
