that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
