You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Terrible idea I love it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize