i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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