this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
