Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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