she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
