I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
