the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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