I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
