the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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