so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
