Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Randomize
