I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
