I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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