I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
