Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
