Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
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Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
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i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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