i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
