I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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