my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize