The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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