Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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