I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
