He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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