she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
