At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
