these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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