Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have fence marks all over my body
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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