i barfeds in our rink
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
