dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
